Thank you for this beautiful and eloquently written post. I feel All This in my gut, too. (I feel like throwing up all the time . . . ) You have expressed the way I feel, but haven't been able to express for myself. Thank you. Thank you. XO
I hear you. Right now I am in the middle of the Coral Triangle (Raja Ampat) in Indonesia, on a small ship. Snorkeling. Beauty all around.
I left on Inauguration Day. I am SO glad I did, just to defer my outrageousness for a few weeks. Sure, I am reading the news. Disgusting, especially about politicizing the plane crash. Coming back will be a new reality.
I know a woman married to an undocumented person. They have kids. Her and her parents are looking for property in Mexico. Lives are being upended.
Try to not read the news for a few days, if you can. It’s toxic and stressful. Seek out beauty.
Kathy I so love the idea of you snorkeling in Indonesia. Fabulous! Good for you. And how smart to leave on Inauguration Day. Yes, I am trying to contain news reading to certain times of the day (and not much social media scrolling at all), but I want to stay informed so it's a trade off! Plus I'm on deadline and in front of my computer a lot this week - ha! have a great time! xo SUsie
You summarized my feelings perfectly, Susie. I am a sensitive and empathetic soul and have been trying my best to understand his supporters, many whom are my friends and family. When “are you f**king kidding me?” is what I want to say, but I quietly hold back and say nothing. I’m so very grateful that you helped me make sense of this sick feeling in my gut.
And as far as the “it’s only 4 years” part…I’m 68 years old - four years is a good portion of my remaining days that I would prefer to not live under the rule of a maniacal dictator. Thank you, as always, for sharing your insightful thoughts and for your beautiful way with words.
Wonderful post, thank you for being so honest and true to your gut. I am heading into my 12th glorious sober year and I not only find all you have said true to my beliefs growing up, but also the lessons that I was taught in AA that have kept me sober to this day.
We often joked in my women's group years ago that if the country were run by recovering alcoholics, we'd be fine and thrive. I still believe that in my gut.
I've trimmed down my paid subscriptions a lot this year--yours I will keep. xoxo
Aw, thank you so much for supporting my writing, Deborah. It means a lot. And it's funny - I've had that same conversation with other sober friends. IF ONLY. So much of this behavior is driven by insecurity. Ugh. Congratulations on your sobriety!
Thank you for your courage in saying what needed to be said! The actions of the past weeks are very unsettling. My outrage matches yours. Your writing is always an inspiration!
Thanks for expressing what many of us are experiencing--it seemed so clear what we needed to do after 2016, but now the political landscape is very different, and a counter-response is harder to mount. But if we keep speaking up and standing up--together--a way will open up. We have to believe this, because the people trying to dismantle the people's government are counting on us losing hope.
You're right David. It's the same as saying we need to have faith, really. If we work, a way will open up (I hope. If it doesn't, at least we will have tried!).
Susie, after reading you and your recipes and essays for several years, I finally subscribed today because your blessed words helped me to breathe again and lifted a load that was heavier every day. Thank you for being one more lifeline. xo
Lynda, you are very kind. Thank you so much. And it means the world to me that I could help you today. We all need lifelines right now. I'm here for you!
I too feel the anger and rage and helplessness. But Susie your eloquence and heart have helped me to see straight and strong. The comments on this post are like a cool towel on my forehead. Hearing people beautifully articulate rage without resorting to meanness gives me hope.
Susie, thank you for your beautifully written piece. I believe you expressed that which many of us are feeling. Always appreciate your courage, stay strong!!
A truly eloquent expression of rage that many of us saner folks share. What will become of our country for our children’s and grandchildren’s sake? I shudder but do what I can to better the world through my donations of homemade bread to a food pantry and volunteering for the LA Public library’s literacy programs. It’s small but it’s something.
Thank you for this. My outrage is in lockstep with yours. For this morning’s insanity, Rebecca Solnit has shared(on FB) information about the aforementioned Nazi’s possession of the treasury keys: totally illegal, and no one is doing a damn thing about it. Nothing. My step-sister’s daughter works as an environmental scientist in California; we expect that to end. One of my students in the JD has likely lost her job. My wife is on social security; so is my 90 yr old mother whose rent is paid by it. The markets have all crashed. My neighbor has a young child who had to go through a life-saving transition because the child’s outsides didn’t match her insides; she may not get the medication she needs to survive. She’s 12.
As someone who fights chronic relapse, who has a very hard time turning over the keys to a higher power because my safety—my life—has depended on my being in control of everything because the child-adults around me nearly destroyed me, I have asked myself: how does one stay sober at times like this. I don’t have the answer to this question. I’m willing to stick around and find out, but: I don’t have the answer now and I worry that the wait will outlive me.
I grew up in the home of a clinically diagnosed malignant narcissist and have another one, a cousin, who is also an MN, and I know the playbook by heart, and I know that there is nothing more dangerous than an MN who is out of options. They may ultimately go down, but they will take everyone and everything down with them. And that is exactly what is happening. I have dear friends with whom I am not politically aligned; they believe that the Bishop Marian Budde-related temper tantrum was blown up out of proportion. And then a Rep from a southern state actually presented a resolution to have her deported because he didn’t like her use of the word “mercy.” Because mercy translates to implied and direct and impending harm; people beg for mercy when they are about to be murdered or destroyed or their lives taken away from them. Jesus was entirely about mercy, and human law, and decency. And these monsters do not like that because “mercy” holds a mirror up to their faces, and they have to make a choice: their own souls, or their ego-feeding.
I believe, FWIW, that this is the tipping point of western human survival, which is now in the hands of felonious rapists, hucksters, liars, malignant narcissists. We’ve come to a fork in the road; everyone, regardless of political stripe, has to make a choice. This is not about politics. It’s about humanity. And that choice will determine what happens to us as a species.
Elissa, so many good points here. (The treasury situation is the most horrifying and potentially catastropic so far - though I think the intentionally chaotic and distracting situation in general is designed to throw everyone off their game.) The hijacking of Jesus and Christianity makes me crazy and has for some time. I decided not to write about it today, but at some point I will. For me (and not just because I am a Christian who also happens to have been raised in the Episcopal church), Bishop Budde's words were music to my ears. And it is so interesting that what so many objected to was her "speaking out." As she said, "Was anybody going to say something?" On sobriety: dig deep deep deep where your spirit dwells and know that no matter what, you have this great inner strength, honed by everything you've been through, and that you want to stay connected to that - not separate yourself from it. We will do it. It seems that there are so many forks in the road these days that present choices to us and we can take them one at a time and exercise the good in humanity by doing that. xoxo
Humor is what I’m going with every time he opens his mouth.
Also, try holding doors open for people, guys especially, it puts a smile on everyone’s face. I’m trying to do more of the small courteous things. It’s makes for a much nicer world on our level.
The other day I let a big truck go through a stop sign intersection before me and my reward was, 3 long horn blasts and a big wave.
It won’t solve the BIG problem but it will make our days better.
I don’t usually comment but I wanted to tell you how well spoken & well written this Substack post was. You captured & expressed exactly how I am feeling. Thank you for speaking out. It is a comfort to know there are like minded people out there.
Laura, thank you for commenting, and I’m glad it resonated. I think there is a part of us that really wishes and hopes that we didn’t have to speak up or comment, but then it seems like sharing our feelings about something like this may be one way to cope! The good care.
I just sent this substack via text to everyone I am close to-the feedback is resoundingly positive. You touched a nerve in all of us. When quiet people speak out it gives us courage & hope. Thank you ❤️
Thank you for this beautiful and eloquently written post. I feel All This in my gut, too. (I feel like throwing up all the time . . . ) You have expressed the way I feel, but haven't been able to express for myself. Thank you. Thank you. XO
You are very welcome, Kym. We are in this together!
I hear you. Right now I am in the middle of the Coral Triangle (Raja Ampat) in Indonesia, on a small ship. Snorkeling. Beauty all around.
I left on Inauguration Day. I am SO glad I did, just to defer my outrageousness for a few weeks. Sure, I am reading the news. Disgusting, especially about politicizing the plane crash. Coming back will be a new reality.
I know a woman married to an undocumented person. They have kids. Her and her parents are looking for property in Mexico. Lives are being upended.
Try to not read the news for a few days, if you can. It’s toxic and stressful. Seek out beauty.
Kathy I so love the idea of you snorkeling in Indonesia. Fabulous! Good for you. And how smart to leave on Inauguration Day. Yes, I am trying to contain news reading to certain times of the day (and not much social media scrolling at all), but I want to stay informed so it's a trade off! Plus I'm on deadline and in front of my computer a lot this week - ha! have a great time! xo SUsie
You summarized my feelings perfectly, Susie. I am a sensitive and empathetic soul and have been trying my best to understand his supporters, many whom are my friends and family. When “are you f**king kidding me?” is what I want to say, but I quietly hold back and say nothing. I’m so very grateful that you helped me make sense of this sick feeling in my gut.
And as far as the “it’s only 4 years” part…I’m 68 years old - four years is a good portion of my remaining days that I would prefer to not live under the rule of a maniacal dictator. Thank you, as always, for sharing your insightful thoughts and for your beautiful way with words.
You are very welcome Stephanie - and I agree, 4 years is too long! Be kind to your gut and know that you have company in the way you feel!
Wonderful post, thank you for being so honest and true to your gut. I am heading into my 12th glorious sober year and I not only find all you have said true to my beliefs growing up, but also the lessons that I was taught in AA that have kept me sober to this day.
We often joked in my women's group years ago that if the country were run by recovering alcoholics, we'd be fine and thrive. I still believe that in my gut.
I've trimmed down my paid subscriptions a lot this year--yours I will keep. xoxo
Aw, thank you so much for supporting my writing, Deborah. It means a lot. And it's funny - I've had that same conversation with other sober friends. IF ONLY. So much of this behavior is driven by insecurity. Ugh. Congratulations on your sobriety!
Thank you for your courage in saying what needed to be said! The actions of the past weeks are very unsettling. My outrage matches yours. Your writing is always an inspiration!
Thank you for reading, Donna! Take good care.
Thanks for expressing what many of us are experiencing--it seemed so clear what we needed to do after 2016, but now the political landscape is very different, and a counter-response is harder to mount. But if we keep speaking up and standing up--together--a way will open up. We have to believe this, because the people trying to dismantle the people's government are counting on us losing hope.
You're right David. It's the same as saying we need to have faith, really. If we work, a way will open up (I hope. If it doesn't, at least we will have tried!).
Susie, after reading you and your recipes and essays for several years, I finally subscribed today because your blessed words helped me to breathe again and lifted a load that was heavier every day. Thank you for being one more lifeline. xo
Lynda, you are very kind. Thank you so much. And it means the world to me that I could help you today. We all need lifelines right now. I'm here for you!
I too feel the anger and rage and helplessness. But Susie your eloquence and heart have helped me to see straight and strong. The comments on this post are like a cool towel on my forehead. Hearing people beautifully articulate rage without resorting to meanness gives me hope.
Lorene I’m so glad! I’m thinking that it’s okay to be fearful and angry - and hopeful at the same time! And baby steps…
Susie, thank you for your beautifully written piece. I believe you expressed that which many of us are feeling. Always appreciate your courage, stay strong!!
Thank you Larry. Hard to speak out, but hard to keep quiet too! Take care.
Heard that and somehow we can’t let that happen!
Thank you for your courage. You will always have my support and encouragement.
Thank you Carollyn. ❤️
A truly eloquent expression of rage that many of us saner folks share. What will become of our country for our children’s and grandchildren’s sake? I shudder but do what I can to better the world through my donations of homemade bread to a food pantry and volunteering for the LA Public library’s literacy programs. It’s small but it’s something.
Robert, you do a lot - just thinking of all the students you help! But I agree, yes, we can all do little things. Thank you.
Thank you for this. My outrage is in lockstep with yours. For this morning’s insanity, Rebecca Solnit has shared(on FB) information about the aforementioned Nazi’s possession of the treasury keys: totally illegal, and no one is doing a damn thing about it. Nothing. My step-sister’s daughter works as an environmental scientist in California; we expect that to end. One of my students in the JD has likely lost her job. My wife is on social security; so is my 90 yr old mother whose rent is paid by it. The markets have all crashed. My neighbor has a young child who had to go through a life-saving transition because the child’s outsides didn’t match her insides; she may not get the medication she needs to survive. She’s 12.
As someone who fights chronic relapse, who has a very hard time turning over the keys to a higher power because my safety—my life—has depended on my being in control of everything because the child-adults around me nearly destroyed me, I have asked myself: how does one stay sober at times like this. I don’t have the answer to this question. I’m willing to stick around and find out, but: I don’t have the answer now and I worry that the wait will outlive me.
I grew up in the home of a clinically diagnosed malignant narcissist and have another one, a cousin, who is also an MN, and I know the playbook by heart, and I know that there is nothing more dangerous than an MN who is out of options. They may ultimately go down, but they will take everyone and everything down with them. And that is exactly what is happening. I have dear friends with whom I am not politically aligned; they believe that the Bishop Marian Budde-related temper tantrum was blown up out of proportion. And then a Rep from a southern state actually presented a resolution to have her deported because he didn’t like her use of the word “mercy.” Because mercy translates to implied and direct and impending harm; people beg for mercy when they are about to be murdered or destroyed or their lives taken away from them. Jesus was entirely about mercy, and human law, and decency. And these monsters do not like that because “mercy” holds a mirror up to their faces, and they have to make a choice: their own souls, or their ego-feeding.
I believe, FWIW, that this is the tipping point of western human survival, which is now in the hands of felonious rapists, hucksters, liars, malignant narcissists. We’ve come to a fork in the road; everyone, regardless of political stripe, has to make a choice. This is not about politics. It’s about humanity. And that choice will determine what happens to us as a species.
Forgive me for going on so. 🙏🏻
Elissa, so many good points here. (The treasury situation is the most horrifying and potentially catastropic so far - though I think the intentionally chaotic and distracting situation in general is designed to throw everyone off their game.) The hijacking of Jesus and Christianity makes me crazy and has for some time. I decided not to write about it today, but at some point I will. For me (and not just because I am a Christian who also happens to have been raised in the Episcopal church), Bishop Budde's words were music to my ears. And it is so interesting that what so many objected to was her "speaking out." As she said, "Was anybody going to say something?" On sobriety: dig deep deep deep where your spirit dwells and know that no matter what, you have this great inner strength, honed by everything you've been through, and that you want to stay connected to that - not separate yourself from it. We will do it. It seems that there are so many forks in the road these days that present choices to us and we can take them one at a time and exercise the good in humanity by doing that. xoxo
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Humor is what I’m going with every time he opens his mouth.
Also, try holding doors open for people, guys especially, it puts a smile on everyone’s face. I’m trying to do more of the small courteous things. It’s makes for a much nicer world on our level.
The other day I let a big truck go through a stop sign intersection before me and my reward was, 3 long horn blasts and a big wave.
It won’t solve the BIG problem but it will make our days better.
You're so right, Lynn - and good for you. The little things add up. (And humor helps.)
Beautifully said and heartbreakingly true.
Hi Abby - Oy, heartbreaking is right! 🙏❤️
I don’t usually comment but I wanted to tell you how well spoken & well written this Substack post was. You captured & expressed exactly how I am feeling. Thank you for speaking out. It is a comfort to know there are like minded people out there.
Laura, thank you for commenting, and I’m glad it resonated. I think there is a part of us that really wishes and hopes that we didn’t have to speak up or comment, but then it seems like sharing our feelings about something like this may be one way to cope! The good care.
I just sent this substack via text to everyone I am close to-the feedback is resoundingly positive. You touched a nerve in all of us. When quiet people speak out it gives us courage & hope. Thank you ❤️
I’m so glad Laura, and thank you. It’s hard to speak out - until you can’t not anymore!! ❤️