As an aside, I follow you on Instagram as well and your photography there, as well as here, blows me away. Thank you for sharing beauty so beautifully.
Thank you so much Jane! I so enjoy it - I’d love to have the time (ha) someday to really get some good photography training and work with a really good camera. But in the meantime, I’m happy just to play around and nature does most of the work!
Thank you for sharing. I can relate. And it reminds me of that saying - if you don't pay attention to your wellness, you'll be forced to pay attention to your illness. Wishing you well.
Ugh. I'm sorry for all the things. I also am a "grinder" and was ruining my teeth. A mouth guard has saved my pearly whites from further damage. Hang in there, Susie! Tomorrow is a new day.
Oh Susie, you (we) are not alone. Broken teeth (check), mysterious health annoyances — I don’t have floaters (yet) but I think I have tinnitus (how does one tell if the noise is in my head or my ears — although technically, I guess my ears are in my head). Deadlines raise an almost existential dread in me, when in fact nobody dies if my take on lilacs/bearded irises or even a brilliant garden, is a bit late. I’m tired, deeply tired. But my favorite part of life is compassion — and it’s taken me nearly 65 (!!!!) years to arrive at this landing. So when I say, take care, big breath, wade in the puddle, and gathers alllll the shells, I am of course talking to myself. xoxo
Oh, Lorene, thank you. We are in this together! ALL THE SHELLS - yes! I find all this exhaustion a bit surprising though - no one tells you when you're 30 that you're not going to feel that way forever! I used to be such a multitasker, but now I just don't want to do 50 things at once! But I hear you on the compassion (most of all for ourselves as that's how it spreads....) thank you again and for your daily dose of beauty you share with us all.
I found myself walking through a puddle the other day, water soaking all in my tennis shoes though I should have just gone barefoot. Maybe the metaphor is to go through something fearlessly? Maybe the way forward is through, while shedding everything that isn't serving you? Do you really require the stressors to live happily? Is it changing your health to be so anxious? Life is so short. It's so easy to preach from the couch, haha. Wishing you health and good news and lack of leaks and peace from here in Mississippi. Thank you for a thought provoking read today.
Thank you Mule! Thank you for your good wishes and your wise thoughts - everything is on the table! Hope you are having beautiful spring weather in Mississippi.
I’ve found that the spiritual progress is more of a spiral, maybe helix is the right word. It’s slow and cyclical sometimes it feels like you are backtracking, sliding backwards, but you actually are making progress. Getting from A to B in a straight line is human mental construct and not nature’s way. It takes a lot of reminders about acceptance. I guess that’s what floaters are (I’ve got them and I’m not a fan): everyday reminder of aging and what you can change and what you can’t. ❤️
Laura, you are so wise! This is perfect - the helix or the spiral, sliding backwards in order to move forwards...in a draft of this I had more about acceptance and control/lack of control( my favorite!) as there sure is a lot of that going on as we age. Floaters are a good reminder, as you say! I've been thinking of you and sending lots of love. Have a good walk this morning!❤️
I suppose ( actually I know) there are at least two ways of looking at anxiety. I am also in recovery, in my 60’s ( I originally wrote early 60’s) and have anxiety as a constant companion. Some days I am the character in Jason Isbell’s song Anxiety. Today I feel like anxiety is a part of me like my brown eyes and my tendency to overthink. I can wear contacts to make my eyes look less brown (I assume I can) but under neath they are brown. I can catch my self trying to completely understand how a constant force spring works or I can just restring the blinds. I might have moved on and repaired the blind but there is still the awareness that I don’t truly understand how a constant force spring works ( I mean on a deeper level). Anxiety as I see it today is just a part of me. I can do things so it has a lesser impact but it’s still there. It’s always there and maybe it’s a blessing that I can’t see if I’m always fighting to destroy its presence in my life.
Kenny, that all makes a lot of sense. And definitely accepting the presence of the anxiety is good advice, maybe gives it less power that way. I think in recovery we (or I should say I, as it is definitely my personality to want to fix things) think we will once and for all put to rest some of these things. But in reality we have to let go of the idea that we have the ultimate control over this!! Letting go....!
At best I let go for now and letting go or even thinking about letting go is progress for me. I enjoyed your story. I imagined myself on a similar walk.
Everything you wrote about is the spiritual journey speeding up. I like to think of it as a video game (which I never play). When you master one level, you get a newer harder level. I had a cracked tooth pulled last year and I feel so much better now. Good luck!
Maria - that makes so much sense! Thank you for that analogy. It helps to put me in the mindset of: there's more coming down the pike. Acceptance, acceptance. Also really glad to hear that you had the tooth thing and that it gets better after the pulling - i'm looking forward to that. Thank you!
As an aside, I follow you on Instagram as well and your photography there, as well as here, blows me away. Thank you for sharing beauty so beautifully.
Thank you so much Jane! I so enjoy it - I’d love to have the time (ha) someday to really get some good photography training and work with a really good camera. But in the meantime, I’m happy just to play around and nature does most of the work!
Nature is beautiful but you have a very, very good eye!
Aw thank you!
Thank you for sharing. I can relate. And it reminds me of that saying - if you don't pay attention to your wellness, you'll be forced to pay attention to your illness. Wishing you well.
Ah, that is unfortunately very true! Thank you for passing that along and for your good thoughts. All best to you!
Amen, sister.
❤️
Ugh. I'm sorry for all the things. I also am a "grinder" and was ruining my teeth. A mouth guard has saved my pearly whites from further damage. Hang in there, Susie! Tomorrow is a new day.
Thank you so much Ilona! A mouthguard is definitely in my future!!
Oh Susie, you (we) are not alone. Broken teeth (check), mysterious health annoyances — I don’t have floaters (yet) but I think I have tinnitus (how does one tell if the noise is in my head or my ears — although technically, I guess my ears are in my head). Deadlines raise an almost existential dread in me, when in fact nobody dies if my take on lilacs/bearded irises or even a brilliant garden, is a bit late. I’m tired, deeply tired. But my favorite part of life is compassion — and it’s taken me nearly 65 (!!!!) years to arrive at this landing. So when I say, take care, big breath, wade in the puddle, and gathers alllll the shells, I am of course talking to myself. xoxo
Oh, Lorene, thank you. We are in this together! ALL THE SHELLS - yes! I find all this exhaustion a bit surprising though - no one tells you when you're 30 that you're not going to feel that way forever! I used to be such a multitasker, but now I just don't want to do 50 things at once! But I hear you on the compassion (most of all for ourselves as that's how it spreads....) thank you again and for your daily dose of beauty you share with us all.
I found myself walking through a puddle the other day, water soaking all in my tennis shoes though I should have just gone barefoot. Maybe the metaphor is to go through something fearlessly? Maybe the way forward is through, while shedding everything that isn't serving you? Do you really require the stressors to live happily? Is it changing your health to be so anxious? Life is so short. It's so easy to preach from the couch, haha. Wishing you health and good news and lack of leaks and peace from here in Mississippi. Thank you for a thought provoking read today.
Thank you Mule! Thank you for your good wishes and your wise thoughts - everything is on the table! Hope you are having beautiful spring weather in Mississippi.
I love you, Susie. xoxo p.s. the aging part doesn't slow down!
Aw, I love you too my friend. It seems to me like you're doing all the right things to stay ahead of it all!
I’ve found that the spiritual progress is more of a spiral, maybe helix is the right word. It’s slow and cyclical sometimes it feels like you are backtracking, sliding backwards, but you actually are making progress. Getting from A to B in a straight line is human mental construct and not nature’s way. It takes a lot of reminders about acceptance. I guess that’s what floaters are (I’ve got them and I’m not a fan): everyday reminder of aging and what you can change and what you can’t. ❤️
Laura, you are so wise! This is perfect - the helix or the spiral, sliding backwards in order to move forwards...in a draft of this I had more about acceptance and control/lack of control( my favorite!) as there sure is a lot of that going on as we age. Floaters are a good reminder, as you say! I've been thinking of you and sending lots of love. Have a good walk this morning!❤️
I suppose ( actually I know) there are at least two ways of looking at anxiety. I am also in recovery, in my 60’s ( I originally wrote early 60’s) and have anxiety as a constant companion. Some days I am the character in Jason Isbell’s song Anxiety. Today I feel like anxiety is a part of me like my brown eyes and my tendency to overthink. I can wear contacts to make my eyes look less brown (I assume I can) but under neath they are brown. I can catch my self trying to completely understand how a constant force spring works or I can just restring the blinds. I might have moved on and repaired the blind but there is still the awareness that I don’t truly understand how a constant force spring works ( I mean on a deeper level). Anxiety as I see it today is just a part of me. I can do things so it has a lesser impact but it’s still there. It’s always there and maybe it’s a blessing that I can’t see if I’m always fighting to destroy its presence in my life.
Anyway
Kenny, that all makes a lot of sense. And definitely accepting the presence of the anxiety is good advice, maybe gives it less power that way. I think in recovery we (or I should say I, as it is definitely my personality to want to fix things) think we will once and for all put to rest some of these things. But in reality we have to let go of the idea that we have the ultimate control over this!! Letting go....!
At best I let go for now and letting go or even thinking about letting go is progress for me. I enjoyed your story. I imagined myself on a similar walk.
Thank you Kenny.
Everything you wrote about is the spiritual journey speeding up. I like to think of it as a video game (which I never play). When you master one level, you get a newer harder level. I had a cracked tooth pulled last year and I feel so much better now. Good luck!
Maria - that makes so much sense! Thank you for that analogy. It helps to put me in the mindset of: there's more coming down the pike. Acceptance, acceptance. Also really glad to hear that you had the tooth thing and that it gets better after the pulling - i'm looking forward to that. Thank you!
It's not over till it's over! And even then, who knows what happens?!
Right!!