The Sidebar: When to Hold and When to Fold

Lessons from a plant sale – and my Hoop House Dreams Salad

Last Saturday I had a little plant sale out of my hoop house. I put the word out only to coworkers and a few friends, as I didn’t want to get overwhelmed or to run out of tomato plants (especially Sungolds!) before folks could get there.

I had modest expectations of the day, but something marvelous happened. And it had nothing to do with how many plants I sold.

Friends came throughout the day – one at a time. It was almost as if they had planned it that way. And when each one drove into the field and parked, often letting a dog out to run through the wildflowers, I met them in my overalls with my dirt-stained hands. At first we’d stand in the bright sun (it was the best of warm spring days) talking and catching up; then we’d go in the hoop house and fill up flats with cosmos and zinnias and Thai basil and whatnot. Afterwards, we’d wander back outside and chat a bit more. When I remembered, I pulled out the plate of chocolate chip cookies I’d made the night before and had been hiding from my husband.

At the end of the day, I looked back and saw that nearly every friend had shared with me something on their mind, something pressing or stressful or puzzling. The conversations had been meaningful, not forced, and I was grateful for them, especially because I’m a one-friend-at-a-time kind of person. I don’t love group activities or large gatherings.

A funny thing, too: I noticed a few themes in these conversations – not surprising considering many of my friends are either my age or just a bit younger.